Infinite Love Infinite Tears
where family, work, and fun intersect
That’s a recording of me on drums and my uncle Alan on saxophone on New Year's Day 1977, when I was four years old. Alan has played an important role in my memoir and life. He bought me a drum set when I was two-and-a-half, played music with me from my earliest memories, and unknowingly opened my ears to music while teaching saxophone lessons as I played with Legos in the corner. He took me to see Kiss in the sweltering NYC summer of 1980, Depeche Mode in '85, and I clung to his waist on a thunderstorm-drenched motorcycle ride home from Descendents’ 1am set at Maxwell’s in Hoboken in '87. Alan also brought me to dozens of his own band rehearsals and performances over the years.
Now I’m thrilled to release Alan’s albums. This process began in 2018, when I reissued his 1975 debut, Valley of Search, a raw and intense document of New York City’s loft jazz scene in the mid-seventies. The reissue exceeded our expectations, garnering praise from WNYC, Pitchfork, The WIRE, and Downbeat. It reignited Alan’s passion for music and was a significant step for me as well—publishing this 2018 New York Times piece convinced me to continue writing and became a crucial part of my book. Alan recorded his next album just over one year later, and we released The Fire Still Burns during the quiet pandemic summer of 2020. This week, we’re releasing Alan’s new album, Infinite Love Infinite Tears on my own small label.
Many people have told me over the past six years how nice it is that I’m repaying my uncle for his musical support. It’s nice to hear those comments, but that’s not really what this is. I’m not doing Alan a favor, or repaying a debt. And I don’t think Alan was doing me a favor back when I was a kid (well, maybe that Iron Maiden show at Long Island’s Nassau Coliseum back in ‘88). Alan always recognized my love of music and his unique ability to be a part of it. Now, I’m fifty-two and Alan is seventy-three. We both still love music, and I have the unique ability to be part of his musical life.
Releasing records has always felt more creative than it has commercial for me. I loved making copies of my high school band’s demo cassette and selling them at school. I love the records big and small that I get to work on at Beggars Group. Releasing Alan’s music sits somewhere right in the middle of all of this—a highly personal and gratifying combination of family, work, and fun. Infinite Love Infinite Tears sounds and feels to me like the magical place where these elements intersect.
The album is out now on vinyl, CD, and all streaming services. This link makes it easy. I hope you’ll check it out, and if you’re in New York, Alan will perform at National Sawdust in Brooklyn on Friday June 7.
My memoir is called My Life in the Sunshine. You can order it here, or listen to the audiobook on Spotify.
I hope to see you somewhere soon. Upcoming events are always listed here.
Nabil Ayers / Brooklyn
You on the drums at 4 was very impressive! Good lord, great rhythm. Your uncle's new album has been bought by me on pink vinyl. It's a wicked piece of jazz which I'm really looking forward to hearing at home. Good luck to you both in the future. Keep that family tight!